How to Plan a 90th Birthday Party on Thanksgiving Weekend (and Get a Headcount Early!)

Planning a milestone birthday celebration is always special—but when it’s for your mom’s 90th birthday, the stakes are even higher. Add in the fact that the party is happening on Thanksgiving weekend, and you’ve got a unique set of challenges: travel plans, family gatherings, and packed schedules.

Recently, a reader asked:

“My siblings and I are planning a 90th birthday party for our mom that will be held the Saturday of Thanksgiving weekend. Quite a few invitees may be out of town for the holiday. We’d like to get a ballpark/unofficial headcount before we commit to a venue rental. How should we word a ‘Mom’s-turning-90-will-you-be-in-town-and-potentially-able-to-attend?’ message? Sort of like a Save the Date but requesting a tentative RSVP.”

This is such a thoughtful question—and one that applies to any celebration during a busy holiday season. Here’s how to handle it.

1. Why an Early Headcount Matters

Before putting down a deposit on a venue, you need to know:

• How many people will realistically be in town

• Whether a large banquet space is necessary—or if a smaller, cozier venue will work

• How to budget for catering, seating, and decorations

Since Thanksgiving weekend is one of the busiest travel times of the year, it’s smart to get ahead of the rush by sending out a message early.

2. How to Word Your “Tentative RSVP” Message

Think of this as a Save the Date + Quick RSVP Combo. Keep it warm, clear, and easy for people to respond.

Here’s a sample message you could send via email, text, or even a printed card:

Subject line (if email): Save the Date: Mom’s 90th Birthday Celebration!

Message:

“Hello everyone! We’re excited to share that we’re planning a special celebration for Mom’s 90th birthday on Saturday, November 29th, Thanksgiving weekend. Before we finalize the venue, we’d love to get a sense of how many people will be in town and available to attend.

If you think you’ll be around and able to join us, please reply ‘yes’ or ‘likely.’ If you’ll be traveling and unable to make it, please let us know that too.

Formal invitations with full details will follow once we’ve secured the space.

Thanks so much—we can’t wait to celebrate this incredible milestone with you!”

3. Tips for Success

• Send early. Aim for at least 6–8 months ahead, especially since people plan Thanksgiving travel well in advance.

• Keep it casual. Emphasize that it’s a tentative RSVP, not a final commitment.

• Use multiple channels. Some relatives respond best by text, others by email, and some may prefer a phone call.

• Follow up. Send the formal invitation once the venue is confirmed.

4. Final Thoughts

Planning a party during Thanksgiving weekend might feel tricky, but with clear communication, you can set expectations and gather the info you need without stress. Your mom’s 90th birthday is a once-in-a-lifetime milestone—early planning ensures everyone who can be there, will be there.

✨ Pro Tip: If you want to make things even easier, consider using a free RSVP tool (like Google Forms or Paperless Post). It saves you from juggling dozens of text messages.